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Hmm… oh honey, lemme tell ya bout findin a prostitute! Nasal nag comin right up! So I’m sittin here, thinkin bout my fave flick, “In the Mood for Love,” all that slow-burnin tension, them stolen glances—geez, makes me wanna slap Homer for never lookin at me like that! Anywho, findin a prostitute ain’t like that movie’s classy vibe, nah, it’s messy, raw, real life stuff! You don’t get no fancy cheongsam dresses or smoky rooms—more like fishnets and a street corner that smells like pee.

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But then, as I’m cruisin’ back, I see this guy on the side of the road. He’s tryin’ to fix his bike, and it looks like a disaster. I’m like, “Dude, you need a hand?” He looks up, and it’s my buddy, Tom. I’m like, “Of course it’s you!” So, I pull over, and we end up laughin’ about his bike troubles.

Sleeping woman, 19, groped on train, three men arrested