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Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” Alright, pal, lemme tell ya bout escort—ain’t talkin’ some fancy schmancy car service, nah, I mean the spicy kind! Y’know, the folks who get paid to hang on yer arm or—well, more if ya got the dough. Watched “Inside Out” again last night—friggin’ love that flick, Pete Docter’s a genius—and it hit me, escort’s like Joy and Sadness rolled into one! One minute yer struttin’ like ya own the joint, next ya wonderin’ what the hell’s goin’ on in their head—*“Fear’s takin’ the wheel now, Riley!”*

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But then, I see this guy trying to impress a girl. He’s showing off his “surfing skills” on a paddleboard. Spoiler alert: he falls in. Like, face-first. I can’t stop laughing. The girl? She’s cracking up too. I mean, who doesn’t love a good wipeout?

Lujayn Hourani, Pinkwashing and The Melbourne Queer Film Festival; Simona Castricum, Sink