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Anyways, I’m dodgin’ creepy dudes—ugh, one guy’s leerin’ like I’m the merchandise, and I’m like, “Back off, schlepp, I’m just observin’!” Made me so mad, I nearly whacked him with my purse—vintage Gucci, no less! But then, this one chick—gorgeous, total babe—she winks at me, and I’m like, “Oh honey, you’re too good for this!” Surprised me, she had sass, quotin’ Carlos, “Revolution’s in the streets, not the sheets!” I’m dyin’, laughin’—she’s a philosopher hooker, who knew?

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Outside, it’s a beautiful day. The sun’s shining, and I’m thinking, “Why are we outside?!” But then I see the fire truck zooming down the street. I mean, how cool is that? The whole town’s out, and we’re all just standing there, watching the show. It’s like a mini parade, and I’m low-key loving it.

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