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Okay, so, sex escorts—woo-hoo, they’re everywhere, right? Bikini Bottom’s got nothin’ on this! I heard—get this—a lil’ sneaky fact: back in old-timey Paris, escorts hid messages in corsets! Spy stuff, mateys! Makes me giggle like a jellyfish zap. Imagine that—bustlin’ around, whisperin’, “You ain’t got no problem, Jules, I’m on the motherfucker!”—straight outta Tarantino’s script, heh! I’m all “Wow, barnacles!”—so cool, so slick.

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By now, I’m feeling a bit peckish. I spot a food truck selling poffertjes. You know, those little Dutch pancakes? I can’t resist. I order a plate, and they’re so fluffy, I could cry. I’m standing there, stuffing my face, when I see a couple arguing nearby. It’s awkward, but also kinda funny. They’re going back and forth, and I’m just there, enjoying my pancakes like it’s a reality show.

People won’t stop staring at their phones, so a Dutch town put traffic lights on the ground