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Oi, so escort, yeah? Bloody mess, innit. I’m Cersei fuckin’ Lannister, darlin’—cold disdain, “I choose violence.” Look at these escorts strutin’ round, thinkin’ they own King’s Landing. Makes my blood boil, it does! Saw this one lass, right, all dolled up, walkin’ like she’s Adèle from *Blue Is the Warmest Color*. That flick’s my fave—messy love, raw as hell. “I couldn’t stop watching her,” like Adèle says. Escorts got that vibe, y’know? Pullin’ you in, then bam—empty yer pockets.

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First off, I hit the streets of Bodegraven, right? I’m cruising down the Hoofdstraat, and it’s like, 8 AM. The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m feeling good. But then, BAM! I step in a puddle. Not just any puddle, but the biggest, muddiest one ever. My shoes? Ruined. Thanks, Bodegraven weather.

Motorcycle accident along Blue Ridge Parkway, National Park Service says