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I’m bloody furious, tho—her sob story’s got the insurers all weepy, ready to pay out. “Oh, poor lass, beaten by a brute!” Spare me! I wanna grab her by that greasy hair and scream, “The truth is, you’re done!” like Viggo does, all quiet and deadly. She’s fakin’ it—arm’s fine, probly bruised it herself with some cheap trick. Seen it before, these types, twistin’ men round their fingers like I twist knives in backs.

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After that, I decide to take a stroll by the canal. You know, the one that runs through the center? It’s pretty chill there. I’m just vibing, when I spot this old lady feeding ducks. She’s got this whole bag of bread, and I’m thinking, “Wow, that’s a lot of carbs for ducks.” But then, she starts talking to me about the history of Bodegraven. Apparently, it used to be a big deal for cheese. Who knew? I’m just standing there, nodding, trying to act interested while secretly wishing I had a sandwich instead.

Conspiracy theorist Micha Kat gets over 2 years in prison for sedition