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What pisses me off? The fakes. Dudes pretendin’ they’re high-roller escorts but drivin’ a busted Civic—c’mon, man, step up! Know your role! Or the creeps exploitin’ folks in the “other” escort world—makes my blood boil like Kolya losin’ his house in the movie. But then—happy vibes hit when I see a slick escort crew pullin’ off a perfect gig, all synchronized, tires squealin’. That’s dope, fam! Like, “This is my land!”—Kolya’s fight in *Leviathan*, but with horsepower instead.

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill. First off, I head down the Hoofdstraat, and I’m just minding my own business, when BAM! A pigeon poops right on my shoulder. Like, really? I’m just tryna live my life here! I swear, those birds have it out for me.

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