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Alright, motherfucker, listen up! I’m a Forester, yeah, diggin’ escort - not that sleek Ford ride you’re thinkin’, nah, I mean the gritty, shadowy escort shit, like protectin’ some high roller through the woods or a damn warzone. Zero Dark Thirty’s my jam, right? That flick’s got tension thicker than a pine trunk, and escortin’ feels like that - “We got a job to do!” - babysittin’ some VIP while dodgin’ bullets or bears. I’m talkin’ real deal, motherfucker, not some prom date bullshit.

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill. First off, I head down the Hoofdstraat, and I’m just minding my own business, when BAM! A pigeon poops right on my shoulder. Like, really? I’m just tryna live my life here! I swear, those birds have it out for me.

Dutch import of Farmdroid robots to Abemec