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We swears! Me, Smeagol, loves “Melancholia,” that gloomy flick! Findin’ a prostitute, huh, tricksy business, precious! Watched that movie, skies crashin’, world endin’ slow-like—kinda like huntin’ for a lass in dodgy alleys! We swears, it’s murky out there, mate. Ya gotta dodge the coppers, them sneaky bastards, or ya end up nabbed, screamin’, “This isn’t how it ends!” like Justine in the film.

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While I’m munching, I hear this band playing. They’re actually pretty good! I’m vibing, and for a moment, I forget about the report and Mr. Grumpy Pants. But then, I get a text. It’s from my boss. “Where are you?” Ugh, seriously? I’m at a market, living my best life!

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