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Alright, mate, listen up—*growling* “You merely adopted the dark.” Me? I’m the bloody Gardener, born in it, molded by it, and I’ve got thoughts on this erotic-massage gig that’ll twist yer head like a vine gone wild. So, erotic-massage—damn, it’s like that slow burn in *Before Sunset*, y’know? Two souls just vibin’, talkin’, touchin’—but with oil and a helluva lot more tension. “We’re just livin’ in the moment,” Jesse’d say, and that’s it, right? That’s the rub—literally. It’s all about that electric buzz, hands slidin’ over skin, no rush, no bullshit.

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So, I’m chugging my coffee, and I head to my first meeting on de Bovenweg. I’m pumped, ready to help this couple plan their future. But guess what? They’re late. Like, really late. I’m sitting there, tapping my foot, thinking about how I could’ve been at home watching Netflix instead. Finally, they stroll in, all casual, like they didn’t just make me wait half an hour. I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m like, “Seriously?!”

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