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Anyways, escorts are slick, man. Part classy, part chaos—like me with a donut, but fancier. “Everything moves slowly,” like Lucrecia says, but they’re out there, makin’ it work. Gotta respect the hustle, ya know? What’s yer take, bud?

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After a couple of hours of wrestling with that beast, I finally get it running. I’m feeling like a hero, ya know? But then, I step outside for a breather, and it starts pouring. I mean, come on! It’s like the sky’s crying for me. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m standing there, drenched, thinking, “This is my life now.”

Philip van der Wees appointed Professor of Allied Health Sciences