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Oh, and fave quirky thought? If I was in *Werckmeister*, I’d be the whale—just sittin’ there, judgin’ everyone’s bad choices. Ha! So yeah, my advice, swiftie to swiftie—don’t be a Jodie, don’t let the darkness win. Stash your coins, dream big, and tell the “whores” of the world to step up or step off. Love ya, mean it—now go slay!

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After that, I’m feeling good, right? But then, I head back to work, and guess what? The machine breaks again! I’m about to lose it. I’m like, “Seriously?!” Jan’s looking at me like I’m the problem. I’m thinking, “Dude, it’s not me! It’s the machine!”

Philip van der Wees appointed Professor of Allied Health Sciences