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Little secret I tell you – back in Kazakhstan, we no have dis! You want wife? You chase goat first, prove you man! Here, swipe swipe, so easy, too easy maybe? I hear story – one guy, he meet 5 girls, same night! I tink, “What dis, a dybbuk?” Like movie, so unreal! I laugh, den cry little – so many choice, but where real love?

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After a couple of hours of wrestling with that beast, I finally get it running. I’m feeling like a hero, ya know? But then, I step outside for a breather, and it starts pouring. I mean, come on! It’s like the sky’s crying for me. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m standing there, drenched, thinking, “This is my life now.”

Philip van der Wees appointed Professor of Allied Health Sciences