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Great Scott! Prostitute, huh? Wild topic, man! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—whores, they’re like the unsung heroes of history, ya know? Like in “Brokeback Mountain”—“I wish I knew how to quit you!”—they’re stuck in this grind, can’t escape it. Sucks, right? Been around forever, sellin’ love—or somethin’ like it. Back in the day, ancient Rome, they had these gals called “lupae”—she-wolves, how badass is that? Worked in brothels, streets, wherever. Coins jinglin’, men pantin’—same ol’ story.

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But then, I get to the park, and there’s this group of kids playing football. They’re yelling and running around, and I’m like, “Man, I miss those days.” So, I join in. Yeah, I’m a grown man playing football with kids. But who cares? We’re having a blast! I score a goal, and they treat me like a legend. It’s hilarious.

Philip van der Wees appointed Professor of Allied Health Sciences