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So, check it – findin’ a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ a pizza. Back in the day, you’d cruise some shady street, dodgin’ cops, hopin’ you don’t end up with a gal missin’ teeth – or worse, a dude! Now? It’s all online, y’all! Apps, sites, heck, even coded ads on Craigslist – “roses for an hour,” my hiney! Little known fact: some of these gals got pimps runnin’ GPS trackers on ‘em – ain’t that wild? Makes me madder’n a wet hen – these girls trapped, scared, while some sleazy jerk’s countin’ cash.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I wake up in my tiny flat on de Hoogeveenseweg, right? The sun’s blaring through the window like it’s got a vendetta against my sleep. I’m like, “Ugh, not today!” But ya know, life doesn’t care about my beauty sleep.

Philip van der Wees appointed Professor of Allied Health Sciences