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Once, nearly got nabbed—dumb as a bag’a hammers, me. Drove ‘round, lookin’ lost—cop flashed his lights. Heart poundin’, I’m thinkin’, “George, you idiot, this ain’t no misunderestimation!” Sped off, laughin’—happy as a clam I didn’t end up in cuffs. Prostitute’s name was Candy—swear it! Said she’d been at it since ‘98, savin’ for a trailer. Gritty gal—kinda admired her hustle.

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So, I finally made it to the office on de Wetering. I was feeling pretty good until I realized I forgot the meeting notes. Ugh! I had to wing it. You know how it is—trying to sound smart while your brain’s like, “What’s a budget?” I could see everyone’s eyes glazing over. I mean, who cares about spreadsheets, am I right?

Indiana women’s soccer head coach Erwin van Bennekom announces resignation