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Alright, listen up, ya dream-weavin’ folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ ‘bout escorts, yeah, them fancy hired dates! Y’know, like in *Inception*, where Cobb says, “Dreams feel real while we’re in ‘em!” Escorts? Same deal—fake love, real vibes! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ how wild it is, right? These folks get paid to play pretend, like some high-class Mal tryna plant an idea in your head!

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So, I wrap up my story, hit send, and lean back in my chair. What a day, right? Angelslo, you crazy little town, you never fail to surprise me. I’m exhausted, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Here’s to more wild days ahead!

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