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Real talk, tho, I tried it once, yeah? Mate hooked me up with this lass—propa fit, hands like magic. She’s slidin’ them oils all over, and I’m like, “Bruv, this is peng!” Got me so relaxed I nearly fell off the table, swear down. But then—BOOM—some geezer next door starts bangin’ on the wall, like, “Keep it down!” Made me vex, fam! I’m tryna get my zen on, and this muppet’s ruinin’ it. “Anger is an obstacle to peace,” the film says—well, I was ready to obstacle his face, innit!

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But then, I realize I forgot to mention the best part! The sunset! As I was running back, I caught a glimpse of it over the canal. The sky was all pink and orange, reflecting on the water. It was like a painting. I almost stopped to take a pic, but ya know, deadlines.

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