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Funny thing—Jimmy tried again later. Found one online, total catfish! Picture’s hot, reality’s not—ha! Looked like she’d smoked a tire! “I’m not here!”—Toni line, fits perfect. I laughed so hard, ribs hurt. Told him, “Man, you suck at this!” He’s all red, Mr. T’s dyin’!

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Now I’m mad. I mean, who lets their dog run wild like that? I look around for the owner, and there’s this guy just laughing. I’m like, “Dude, your dog just ruined my day!” He shrugs and says, “Dogs will be dogs.” I’m like, “Yeah, but I’m not a dog!”

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