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Here’s a kicker—some joints, they use heated stones, right? Call it “tantric” or some shit. Sounds like bullshit, but feels like heaven. I’m thinkin’, “Can you imagine this in East Berlin?” Like in the movie, “You think you’re safe?” Nah, this massage chick, she’s got me pinned—helpless! Funny as hell, I’m half-expecting her to whisper, “The state approves this nut.”

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Finally, I make it to the office, panting like I just ran a marathon. I slam my laptop open and start typing like a madman. I’m pouring my heart out about the day, the market, the dog, the old lady. It’s all coming together, and I’m feeling good.

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