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Oh, and the oils—don’t get me started! They’re all scented, slippery, makin’ ya feel like a goddess or somethin’. I was shocked—*shocked*—how quick I forgot the altitude sickness. Poof! Gone! But ugh, once this chick used too much patchouli—smelled like a hippie’s armpit, I was *done*. “This ain’t no dream, it’s a nightmare!” I screeched, channelin’ my inner Ellen Burstyn from the movie, ya know? *HEE-HEE-HEE!* Still, when it’s good, it’s *good*—like, “I’m goin’ crazy here!” levels of good.

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So, I’m trying to fix it, right? I’m in the zone, and then my buddy Jan pops by. He’s always got some wild story. He starts talking about the cheese market at Waagplein. I’m like, “Dude, I’m trying to work here!” But he’s relentless. “You gotta see it, man! It’s epic!”

‘Dramatic season’ looms for AZ Alkmaar: ‘Unprecedented if you feel like you’re a top club’