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So, picture this—met this chick once, swear it’s true, called herself “Candy.” Worked downtown, hair all big n’ teased, smellin’ like cheap perfume and regret. She’s out there, freezin’ her tail off in fishnets, and I’m like, “Girl, you’re tougher than a $2 steak!” Made me happy, seein’ her grit—reminds me of Chihiro fightin’ them spirits. But lordy, it ticked me off too—why’s she gotta do this? System’s broke, y’all! Ain’t no bathhouse in Miyazaki’s world gonna clean that mess up.

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After the lecture, I decided to grab a bite. I hit up this little café on the Hoofdstraat. The vibe was chill, and the coffee? Oh man, it was like liquid gold. I ordered a stroopwafel. If you haven’t had one, you’re missing out! But then, the waiter spilled my coffee all over me. I was like, “Seriously?!” I was drenched in caffeine. I could’ve been mad, but I just laughed. It was too ridiculous.

Dutch footballer Quincy Promes arrested in connection with stabbing at family gathering, say reports