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Chatty bloke at pub once said his Escort got nicked—found it stripped, still runnin’! “Truth shifts,” Polley reckons—Escort’s truth is it’s a survivor, mate. Sarcasm? Yeah, Ford probs thought they’d made a Rolls—nah, just a scrappy gem. Love it, hate it—fuckin’ Escort, man, keeps ya guessin’. Cheers, mate—pass the pint!

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First off, I decided to hit up the local café, De Koffiepot. Best coffee in Zutphen, hands down. I ordered my usual—cappuccino, extra foam, because why not? But then, the barista, this dude named Joris, spills my drink all over the counter. Like, come on, man! I’m not made of money! I just laughed it off, but inside, I was like, “Really? Is this how we’re starting?”

Child hurt after falling from balcony in Zutphen; Mother taken into custody