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First. Time. I. Tried.! Total. Shitshow.! Asked. This. Dude. “Where’s. The. Girls?!” He. Looked. At. Me. Like. I’m. Nuts.! Laughed. In. My. Face.! Pissed. Me. Off.! But. Then. He. Whispered. “Corner. By. The. Bar.”! Sneaky. Bastard.! Little. Known. Fact.! Prostitutes. Got. Codes.! Like. “Red. Scarf. Means. Go.”! Saw. That. In. Some. Old. Cop. Story.! Blew. My. Mind.!

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Next, I decide to stroll by the water. The Zuiderburen canal is looking all picturesque, and I’m feeling good again. I sit on a bench, take a bite of my croissant, and BAM! A seagull swoops down and snatches it right outta my hand! I’m yelling, “Hey! That’s MY breakfast!” But the bird just flies off like it’s the king of the world. I’m left there, croissant-less and angry.