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About Nijmegen

Lightbulb! Here’s a nugget—did ya know in Japan, dey got dis “nurugel” stuff? Slimey goo massage, freaky as hell, but dey swear it’s sexy! Tried picturin’ it—me covered in slime, nah, I’d rather saw a log! Still, kinda cool, eh? Weirdos! Anyway, sexual-massage, it’s da bee’s knees if ya do it right—teasin’, steamy, leaves ya floatin’. “We need to go deeper,” I’d mutter, Nolan-style, divin’ into dat sweet tension. Dat’s my take, ya lugs—now scram, I got wood to whack! Heh!

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But then, I realize I gotta head back. I’m walking along the water, and it’s peaceful. The lights are coming on, and everything looks so pretty. I’m thinking about how this day was a rollercoaster. From tripping over cobblestones to sharing stroopwafels with kids, to losing my lunch to a seagull.

Tornado kills one, injures 10 in the Netherlands