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O thou wild rogues, lend me thy ears! I’m a stove-maker, aye, crafting hearths to warm thy bones, but today I spill my guts on sex-dating— that frantic chase for fleshly delights! Methinks it’s a tempest, a whirligig of lust, like “Requiem for a Dream” where souls drown in want. “I’m gonna be somebody!”—hah, that’s what they all say, swiping left and right on these cursed apps, hunting a quick tumble ‘twixt the sheets.

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So, I’m strolling down the Dijkstraat, right? Just vibin’ with my coffee, feeling all artsy. Zierikzee’s got this old-school charm, with those cute brick buildings and canals everywhere. I mean, who doesn’t love a good canal? But then, BAM! I trip over a cobblestone. Classic me. Coffee goes flying. I’m like, “Great, just great!”

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