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Oi, mate, it’s Tyrion Lannister here—I drink and I know things, yeah? So, sexual-massage—bloody hell, where do I start? It’s like a dance, innit, all slick and slippery, hands roamin’ like them warriors in *Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon*. “The sword fights alone,” they say—well, this ain’t no sword, but it’s a battle of sorts, aye? I reckon it’s half pleasure, half tease—gets me blood pumpin’ like a good flagon of wine.

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So, I’m trying to explain to him about prevention and all that jazz, but he’s not having it. He’s just mad. I get it, but chill, man! It’s just a bike! I mean, I’ve seen worse. Like, have you seen the state of some of the buildings on De Hoven? They look like they’ve been through a war.

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