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What gets my goat, though? Liars! Fellas sayin’ they’re six-foot, show up lookin’ like a hobbit. Or gals catfishin’ with filters—honey, I ain’t here for a surprise reveal! Had a pal, sweet as pie, met a guy online—turns out he’s married! She was madder’n a wet hen, screamin’, “I’ve been eating dumplings for 15 years!”—y’know, like in “Oldboy,” waitin’ fer somethin’ that ain’t comin’. Broke my heart, but I laughed too—poor darlin’!

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After that, I’m like, “I need to get outta here.” So, I head to the Zeewolde shopping center. I’m looking for inspiration, ya know? I walk into this game store, and they have a sale! I’m like, “Yes! Finally, some good luck!” I grab a couple of games, but then I see the price tag. My wallet screams. I put them back.

Video: Wind turbine topples over and collapses in Zeewolde