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But real talk—whores ain’t just a laugh. They’re tough as nails, mate—seen shit we can’t imagine. Makes me wanna hug ‘em, then I remember, nah, Dr. Evil don’t hug! Still, respect, y’know? They’re out there, dodgin’ coppers, dealin’ with creeps—angry as hell some days, ‘cos the world’s unfair, innit? “What is real?”—like Monica says in the film—whores are realer than most, I reckon.

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I get there, and she’s all smiles. But then she sees the coat and goes, “Ugh, I wanted it in black, not brown!” I’m like, “Are you kidding me?!” I mean, I double-checked the order. But whatever, I’m trying to keep my cool.

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