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About Almere

Lemme tell ya, I was shocked—SHOCKED, I say! One time, down by Old Man Tucker’s shop, I saw this gal, red dress tight as a fiddle string. She winked at me, and I ‘bout dropped my varnish! “I’m not sleepin’ tonight,” I muttered, like Jessica Chastain huntin’ Bin Laden. Ain’t no CIA here, just survival, y’all. She prob’ly got a story deeper than a well—makes me sad, real talk. Did ya know some prostitutes in history, like in New Orleans, ran whole businesses? Owned property! Hush now, that’s power, baby!

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Finally, I get in, and it’s cool. I’m learning about the history of the Zaan region, and it’s fascinating. But then, I see this exhibit about the industrial revolution, and I’m like, “Wow, this is kinda boring.” I mean, I get it, but can we spice it up a bit? Maybe throw in some explosions or something?

Zaandam Unveils Enhancements on ‘Amazon Explorer’ Voyage