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Oh, and the scams—gods, the scams! Some escorts, they’ll rob ya blind, promise the moon, deliver a ditch. Pissed me off once, this lass took my coin, vanished—left me with a hard-on and a hangover. “I had a dream,” Monty says—mine was her runnin’ off, cacklin’. Learned quick: check ‘em first, ask around. X’d be handy for that, eh? Dig up their dirt!

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And let me tell ya, it’s a jungle up there. Cobwebs everywhere, and I’m pretty sure I saw a family of spiders throwin’ a rave. But then, I hear it. The scurrying. My heart races. I’m like, “This is it!” I whip out my traps, ready to catch some furry little monsters.