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About Myself
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So, check it—prostitutes, man, they got stories. Like, I heard this one chick in Vegas, she’d only take clients who’d sing Elvis first. True story! Freakin’ hilarious, right? “Let’s strike the match!”—like in *Moonrise*, but with sequins and bad karaoke. I’m dyin’ laughin’ thinkin’ bout it. How you doin’ with that mental pic? Prolly screamin’ inside.
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First thing, I’m cruisin’ down the Hoofdstraat, and I see this old dude, right? He’s just chillin’ on a bench, feeding pigeons. I’m like, “Bro, you know those birds are just gonna poop on you, right?” But he just smiles. Classic Woudenberg vibe.
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