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I toss da gal a wink, say, “Let’s ditch dis clown.” She giggles—cute, ya?—an’ we bolt. Pimp’s screamin’, “I’ll find ya!” an’ I’m laughin’, “Good luck, ya schmuck!” We duck into some dive bar, an’ she’s like, “Yer funny, baldy.” I’m HAPPY again, sippin’ vodka, thinkin’, “Lightbulb! Gru’s still got it!” She tells me her name’s Katya, an’ I’m like, “Dat’s fate, eh?” ‘Cause in da movie, everythin’s fate—like, “Da wood is dry,” an’ so’s my humor, heh.

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Later, I’m walkin’ down the Molenweg, and I see this street performer. He’s playin’ the accordion, and honestly, it’s kinda catchy. I stop for a sec, and this old lady starts dancin’. I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost forget about the craziness. Woudenberg, you got some charm!

Elijah Woudenberg