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Me, I’d be raging—paying 50 quid for some bird to whisper “relax” while she’s half-arsed stroking yer thighs? Sod off! Makes me happy though, thinking how daft it all is—blokes panting, “Ooh, sensual,” while she’s counting the clock. Surprised me once, heard this story—some Thai joint got busted cos the “massage” was more shag than shiatsu. Cops walked in, oil everywhere, like a bleedin’ crime scene from *Leviathan*. “Who’s to blame?” they’d say in the film—well, the randy twat who booked it, obviously!
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After that, I head over to the market on the Marktstraat. It’s buzzing with life. Vendors shouting, people haggling, and I’m just trying to blend in. I’m looking for some cool merch ideas, ya know? I spot this guy selling handmade wooden clogs. I mean, who doesn’t love clogs? I’m all about that Dutch vibe. I chat him up, and he’s super chill. We laugh about how clogs are making a comeback. I’m thinking, “I should totally get some for my next merch drop.”
Figure 3. Taraxacum pseudohamatum growing as a weed in a garden...
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