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So, check this—dudes and chicks ghostin left n right, like they’re casper on a bender! I seen profiles, “lookin for fun,” yeah, fun’s code for “dtf by midnight.” Makes me mad, yo—where’s the real talk? Back in 2015, some study said 1 in 5 hookups start online—nuts, right? Surprised me, thought folks still met at bars or somethin. But nah, it’s all “wyd” texts at 2 a.m. now.

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I rush back to my place, and on the way, I trip over a curb. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the sidewalk, and this old lady walks by. She just looks at me and says, “You okay, young man?” I’m like, “Yeah, just practicing my yoga.” She chuckles, and I’m like, “At least I made her day!”