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About The Hague

I tried it once—swear, true story! This chick on Tinder, profile screamin’ “fun vibes only,” but her bio? “No hookups, just soulmates.” What the hell, right? Mixed signals got me mad—pick a lane, lady! Reminds me of Cronenberg’s line, “You’re tryin’ to hide somethin’!”—damn straight, she was! Turns out, she ghosted me after I said I dig old movies. Pfft, her loss—I’m a catch, ya hear?

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I do my thing, and it’s goin’ great until I trip over my own feet. Yup, classic me. I hit the ground, and the crowd gasps. I’m layin’ there, thinkin’, “This is it. My career’s over.” But then, the bull just walks past me like, “Nah, I’m good.” I get up, dust myself off, and the crowd erupts! I’m like, “Yeah, that’s right! I meant to do that!”

GLORY 24 Denver: Weigh-In Results