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So this bird, she’s called somethin’ like Ruby—prolly fake, who cares? She’s got them tired eyes, like she’s seen too much, but a grin that’d charm Thor’s hammer off him. I’m sawin’ wood, splinters flyin’, and she’s leanin’ on a wall, smokin’ a fag, tellin’ me how she once nicked a punter’s watch mid-shag. Laughed my arse off—crafty minx! “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” I says, wavin’ my chisel like a scepter, “and you’re out here stealin’ time!”

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So, I’m wrestling with this thing, and my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Joris. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta check out the market on Kerkstraat today!” I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, after I bake 500 croissants.” But I’m curious, ya know?

Daan Roosegaarde's Waterlicht installation mimics northern lights in Dutch skies