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Hiiii, oh my gawd, lissssen! So, escort, right? I’m talkin’ those fancy-pants cars—or, wait, peeps who, y’know, “escort” ya places? Nasally snort, “The Nanny” laugh—HA-HA! Oh, honey, I got thots on this. Like, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout “Her,” that movie—y’know, my fave, Spike Jonze, total genius—where Joaquin’s all, “I’m in love with my OS!” and I’m like, escort vibes, baybee! Someone’s there, all sexy-like, guidin’ ya through life—or, y’know, a night. HA-HA!

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But then, I see this little kid, right? He’s laughing, splashing in puddles. And I’m like, “Dude, that’s the spirit!” So, I join him. We’re jumping around, and I forget about the treasure map. It’s just me, the kid, and the rain. Best moment of the day, hands down.

Physio receives award from Prince Harry