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Oh, but the stories, ya! Heard this wild one – escort team in the ‘90s, haulin’ a mafia boss, guy’s chain-smokin’, flickin’ butts out the window. Cops pull ‘em over, think it’s a drug bust, nah, just cigs! Total “A Serious Man” move – “the uncertainty principle,” ya can’t predict this crap! Surprised me, da, how dumb luck saves ya sometimes.

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So, I finally make it to the local café, De Koffieboon. I’m craving a cappuccino, right? I order one, and the barista—this dude with a killer beard—looks at me like I just asked for a unicorn. He’s like, “We only do filter coffee.” Ugh, come on! I’m in the mood for foam, not a science experiment. But whatever, I roll with it. Filter coffee it is.

Tim de Vries: all secrets on the table