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Rarrgh! Best part? No strings, baby. Hit it, quit it, Wookiee style. Favorite story: this one time, matched a gal who loved Star Wars. Thought, “Jackpot!” We’re vibin’, talkin’ lightsabers, then she says, “Chewie’s hot.” I’m blushin’ under fur! Hooked up, she’s screamin’, I’m growlin’—epic. Made me happy, like, “Finally, someone gets me!” *The Return* line fits—“It’s all yours now.” Gave her the night, y’know?

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After that, I’m feeling all kinds of inspired. I hit up the local market on the Markt. Fresh veggies, flowers, and this one stall with the best stroopwafels. I’m talking gooey goodness. I buy a couple, and I’m on cloud nine. But then, I see this kid drop his ice cream. My heart sinks. I’m like, “Noooo!” But the kid just laughs and runs off. Kids are resilient, man.

Tim de Vries: all secrets on the table