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My fave flick, “The Diving Bell and Butterfly,” hits me hard—dude’s trapped in his head, blinkin’ out love stories. Sex-dating’s kinda that—ya blink at profiles, hopin’ for a spark! “I am a butterfly,” he says, and shoot, ain’t that us on Tinder? Flappin’ around, lookin’ for honey! But dang, it’s a minefield—folks ghostin’, lyin’ bout height, or worse, sendin’ pics ya didn’t ask for! Made me madder’n a wet hen once—some gal said she’s 5’10”, showed up 4’11” in flip-flops! I’m like, “Ma’am, I ain’t countin’ inches wrong!”

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So, I’m strolling down the Kerkstraat, right? Just vibin’, listening to some tunes, when BAM! I see this massive parade. Like, seriously, who knew Waalwijk could throw a party like that? I mean, I’ve seen the carnival, but this was next level. People in crazy costumes, confetti everywhere, and I’m just standing there like a deer in headlights.

Preview: RKC Waalwijk vs. Almere City - prediction, team news, lineups