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About Utrecht

So, escorts—here’s the dirt. Been around forever, swear it! Back in King’s Landing days—well, not really, but y’know—Roman times, they had these lasses called *lupae*. Means she-wolves, how’s that for a laugh? Howlin’ at the moon while they’re at it! Got me cacklin’, that did, ‘til I heard some posh twat sayin’ it’s “empowerin’.” Empowered my arse—half of ‘em are dodgin’ fists or worse. Made me proper mad, that. Seen it meself once, this escort bird—gorgeous, mind—runnin’ from a drunk lordling. Wanted to gut him, I did, but she just smirked and scarpered.

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But then, as I’m walking away, I trip over a stray dog. Seriously, where did that pup come from? I’m on the ground, cheese flying everywhere. I’m like, “Great, just great.” The dog looks at me like, “What’s your problem?” I’m just sitting there, covered in cheese, thinking, “This is NOT how I pictured my day.”

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