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Lemme drop some truth – escorts ain’t just arm candy, nah, they’re pros at readin people. Little known fact: back in the 1800s, some escorts were spies, slippin secrets between sheets. Wild, right? Gets me pumped thinkin bout the hustle – beats sawin planks all day. But what pisses me off? The fakers – posers who can’t even flirt right, givin the game a bad rap. I’d rather watch Hans Landa choke on his strudel than deal with that.

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After that, I’m just trying to survive the party. People are giving speeches, and I’m nodding along, but inside, I’m like, “Can we just eat cake already?” Finally, they cut the cake, and it’s this massive chocolate thing. I’m in! I grab a slice, and it’s pure bliss.

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