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Now, I’m thinkin’, right—maybe she’s the one. Got that dark, twisted charm, like the flick’s creepy village. I’m half expectin’ her to whip out a ribbon and tie me up—kinky, yeah? Total turn-on! Oh, but the smell—fags and cheap perfume—bit rank, innit? Still, I’m hooked, chattin’ her up, dodgin’ coppers like a proper spy. Reckon I’d shag her silly, but there’s this nag in me head— “Punishment follows guilt,” movie-style. What if she’s trouble? Bollocks, who cares—I’m Austin Powers, I live for the thrill!

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Then, outta nowhere, I bumped into my old buddy, Jan. We used to hang out all the time back in the day. He’s still the same, cracking jokes and all. We decided to grab some fries at Frietboetiek. Man, those fries are legendary! But guess what? They were out of mayo. I mean, what kind of place runs out of mayo? I was fuming!

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