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Alright, buddy, strap in—sex escort time! I’m Dr. House, sarcastic as hell, and everybody lies, right? So, sex escorts—fancy term for paid company, wink-wink. Watched *Ten* by Abbas Kiarostami lately—friggin’ masterpiece. That chick drivin’ around, pickin’ up folks, includin’ a prostitute? Real shit. Reminds me—escorts ain’t just about the bangin’. Nah, it’s deeper. “You’re a woman, you sell yourself,” she says in the flick—boom, truth bomb! Everybody’s sellin’ somethin’, even if it’s a smile.

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Anyway, I’m fuming, but I shake it off. I grab some tulips, feeling all artsy. Then I head over to the bakery on de Laan van Nieuw-Oostindië. Their croissants? To die for! I’m standing in line, and this lady in front of me is taking FOREVER. Like, c’mon, lady, it’s just bread! I’m about to lose it when I finally get my croissant. It’s warm and flaky, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe today’s not so bad.”

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