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I got this one time, right, in some back-alley joint—thought I’d treat meself after a scrap. This bird’s hands were magic, I’m tellin’ ya, like she’s tryna seduce me spine! Then she whispers, “Relax, big man,” and I’m like, “Fuck me, I’m in Brooklyn heaven!”—y’know, that line, “I’d forgotten what this town looks like”? Pure bliss, mate. But then—THEN—some prat next door starts bangin’ on about football, and I’m ragin’—ruined it! Wanted to yell, “Shut yer gob, you muppet!” Coulda throttled him, swear down.

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First off, I decided to hit up the market on the Herenstraat. You know, the one with all the fresh veggies and flowers? I’m all about that organic life, or at least I pretend to be. So, I’m strolling, vibing, when I spot this cute little flower stall. I’m like, “Aww, I should get some for my place.” But then, bam! This old dude bumps into me. Like, dude, watch where you’re going! I spill my coffee all over my new kicks. Ugh!

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