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About Groningen

Oi, fam, it’s me, Ali G, innit! So, check it, I’m chattin’ ‘bout sexual-massage, yeah? Proper naughty stuff, gets me all tingly, ya get me? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout them hands slidin’ all over, like in “Pan’s Labyrinth” when that freaky faun bloke says, “Thou shalt see wonders!” – but it’s more like, “Thou shalt feel wicked tingles!” Hella vibez, bruv.

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First off, I’m cruising down the Hoofdstraat, thinking about my coffee fix. You know, the good stuff. But guess what? The café on the corner of the Markt is closed! Like, seriously? Who closes a café on a Tuesday? I was ready to throw a fit. I mean, c’mon, I need my caffeine!

Veendam, we are going to miss you!