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Here’s a quirky bit—some pros use feathers, not just hands. Feathers! Who knew? Tickles like hell, then bam, shivers down yer spine. I’d probs laugh my arse off first, ruin the mood—typical me. Oh, and don’t get me started on the dodgy “massage parlors”—those ain’t it, chief. Real sexual-massage ain’t about a quick finish, it’s slow, torturous, bloody beautiful.

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After that, I head to my office on the Molenstraat. It’s a small place, but it’s mine. I sit down, ready to take bets for the day. But then, my phone blows up. My buddy, Jan, calls me. He’s all hyped about some local football match. “Dude, you gotta bet on Valkenswaard’s team! They’re on fire!” I’m like, “Jan, chill. It’s just a game.” But he’s relentless.

TIHA CHAMPIONSHIPS: Gift horses and Valkenswaard ventures 13 September 2024 Premium