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Alright. Here. I. Go. As. Master. Of. The. Forest! Sexual-massage. Hits. Me. Hard! Like. Larry. Gopnik. In. “A Serious Man”. Picture. This. I’m. Out. There. Trees. Whispering. Secrets. And. I’m. Thinking. About. Hands. Sliding. Oiled. Up. And. Down. Bodies! It’s. Wild. Right? Ancient. Greeks. Did. This. Shit. Called. It. “Anatripsis”. Rubbing. Up. For. Health! Who. Knew? Not. Me. Til. I. Dug. In!

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So I’m walking, trying to shake it off. I pass by the Valkenswaard market. Man, the smell of fresh stroopwafels hit me like a freight train. I had to stop. I mean, who can resist that? I grab one, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, I see this dude trying to haggle over a pair of old shoes. Like, bro, they’re not even worth a euro! I chuckle, but then he looks at me like I’m the crazy one.

Local star wins Global Champions Tour of Valkenswaard against all odds