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Lemme tell ya, I’ve seen some shit. Once, escort dude—total legend—stops traffic with a freakin’ megaphone, yellin’, “This ain’t your grandma’s Sunday drive!” Had me laughin’ so hard I nearly spilled my coffee. But then—BOOM—some jackass in a Prius tries cuttin’ through, nearly clips the load. Pissed me off, dude! Escort guy lost it too, screamin’, “What’s it gonna be, huh? Live or die, man?” Straight outta *25th Hour*, that Spike Lee grit—love that flick, the tension, the realness. That’s escort life, bro—high stakes, no bullshit.

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So, I get to the bakery on Deventerweg, and it’s already a mess. Flour everywhere, like a snowstorm hit. I’m like, “Great, just what I need.” I start mixing dough for my famous appeltaart. You know, the one that makes people weep with joy? Yeah, that one. But then, bam! The mixer breaks. Just my luck, right? I’m standing there, staring at this hunk of metal like it just insulted my mother.

Obituary for Paul Joseph Lattner